Find Yourself: 4 Powerful Strategies to Overcome Feeling Stuck and Lost

When you really know yourself inside and out, then your life improves.

It sounds too simple to be true, but it is!

Every day, we're bombarded with external influences making us feel like we have to be, do, or act a certain way.

Combine this with low self-esteem and confidence, then it's understandable why so many people in the world feel lost and confused. 

At some point, we all face an inner conflict about whether we want to stand out or blend in with others.

A piece of us wants to be considered special and stand out as unique among others. 

But another piece of us feels like it's better or safer to conform or fit in so that others will love and accept us. 

Without boundaries or a clear understanding of yourself, it can be hard to tell the difference between your emotions, pain, and desires versus those of someone else.

In other words, you can begin to lose your own identity piece by piece when you don't have a strong sense of self. 

As a Personal Advisor, I use Investigative Problem Solving to help my clients discover if trapped emotions or old identities may be causing their problems, pain, and stress.

Everything is connected and it's impossible to separate a person and problem. Investigative Problem Solving is designed to help you understand every issue on multiple levels.

Once you identify where and when an issue began, it becomes easier to let go of trapped emotions in the body, create lasting changes, and make positive mindset shifts for success. 

Because holding onto the emotions of others can be unconscious and unintended, we often don't notice ourselves slipping away bit by bit unless something drastic changes.

Some examples include divorces or break-ups, the death of a loved one, or a change in life circumstance like retirement or becoming an empty nester when your kids go to college.

After these changes, you may feel lost and unsure of yourself in so many ways.

Here are a few suggestions of how to get back in touch with who you are and what you enjoy. 

1) Remember what you liked to do for fun in the past or try something new. 

This can be a hard one! Especially if you feel like you've been struggling for so long.

After I graduated from medical school, I had no idea what to do for fun anymore. After 4 years of extreme stress and studying almost daily, I had forgotten what down-time felt like. 

At one point, I was like a toddler trying different things in a desperate attempt to jog my memory or discover something new. 

If you're feeling overwhelmed and trying to bring more fun or relaxation into your life, think back to a time when you were less stressed and happy.

Did you have any old hobbies that you've abandoned due to lack of time? If not, then you can follow your curiosity and try something new that interests you. 

2) Identify what you DON'T want first to help you clarify what you DO want.

It's a little quirk of human nature that negative things are so clear (it's a survival thing), but the positive stuff tends to be a little harder to pin down.

If you're having trouble deciding what you want or like in any area of your life, try writing down a list of what you don't want first. 

Then, fill in the blanks by examining the opposite. Little by little you'll begin to fine tune your desires. 

3) Use a journal with prompts if you're really stuck.

If you've tried the first 2 exercises and you're still stuck, then consider using a writer's journal for prompts.

There are various types, but they all begin by asking you a specific question to spark your creativity.

For example, "What movie did you watch over and over as a kid?" or "What's your favorite memory from 6th grade?".

Make no mistake, these journals are going to make you think! They are designed to jog your memory and get things flowing in a creative way. 

4) If you're really, really stuck then consider a private advising session to help you make a breakrthrough.

Scientific studies have confirmed that external clutter affects your mood. Guess, what? Internal clutter does too!

Your internal clutter consists of the pain of your past, trapped emotions, limiting beliefs built on old identities which are like faulty computer programs running in the background affecting your happiness and progress.

Doing a mental house clean involves letting go of what you no longer want and replacing limited beliefs, habits or old identities with something healthier.

As we evolve, our belief systems also need to update or change. If this doesn't happen, even more inner conflicts are created.

If you're in the process of finding, knowing, or rediscovering yourself, then just be as curious, compassionate, and as patient as you can.

It's natural to re-evaluate what we think, feel, or believe. Staying true to your own nature and having fun are important steps in the process.

If you're ready to make positive and lasting changes in your life, then you can book an appointment for a Breakthrough Session with me HERE. 

Dr. April Darley is a Personal Advisor who helps professional women and entrepreneurs figure out problems across different areas of their lives. Using Investigative Problem-Solving, she looks for patterns and connections, explains what she finds, and helps each client create a strategy that works for them.